Forever young .. !

I had a crancky mood today , but i remembered a song that I really love and that always makes me feel like i have nothing but time .. precious time . Jay-Z ft. Mr Hudson - forever young .. it's true that the real song is also great but this one is greater . This song reveals my strongest wish . I want time could stay still . "So we live a life like a video when the sun is always out and you never get old and the champagne’s always cold and the music is always good" .

What's wrong with this time machine ? Especially with its big red STOP button ? Tomorrow is a big day .. College . It sounds good but I don't know.. it's also scary . I feel so timeless .. I wanna go back and press rewind and stop at that time when everything used to be so easy and great .. without any worries and alwasy surounded by the people I love . I guess highschool is really over .. with all its great memories , crazy teachers , best friends or ex best friends , love stories .. Now that i realise thet everything has a finish line ,, it's so hard to let it go , to move on especially when the people I love aren't near me anymore . But I gotta keep my calm .. start smiling and be positive ! This is something we all have to go through and as far as I know .. nobody died because of it . So what if I have to deal with new situations , that's what life is about . "Every age has its beauty" - My mom used to tell me that all the time . If my old friends won't keep up with me in the present , that means they never were . If somt things will be lost on the way , that means they didn't ment anything for me .. otherwise I'd still have them with me . But I'll remember highschool as the image of my favourite teacher .. my first boyfriend who I actually tought was the one .. my best friend that will always in my heart no matter what . That's why life is also about changes .. new beginnings .. finish lines .. memories .. taking chances .

I just hope that I'll still keep with me the best memories and never forget about them .. I need them to remember me of how I used to be .. what I used to love .. and what made me happy those days . I'm gonna need sooo much this part of my life.. my childhood .. the best one i might was .

I wanna be young forever , I wanna keep my dearest memories always on my mind .. my friends near me and never get old ! Hey , Tuff Guy ! I'm talking to you , do something ! But since I can't always have what I want I'll try to make this time , the best of my life . So what if i have to fall , to cry or to lose people ? I'll still fight to reach to the headline !!! I'll start with a smile and a promise . I promise I'll make my future as beautiful as my past ! Yeah !!

Meanwhile I'll listen' to Honor Society - Where are you now . Love that song , it's perfect for my feelings at this very moment !

So , I'll make a toast !! To my favorite teacher who told me never give up ! To my 5th grade crush who I thought I really loved !To the girls I missed and the boys we kissed !To my ex-best friends don't know how we grew apart ! To my favorite band and sing-alongs in my car ! To the face I see in my memories! To my first boyfriend I thought for sure was the one !To my last boyfriend sorry that I screwed it up ! To the ones I loved but didn't show it enough ! And I'll never see those days again.. and things will never be that way again .. but that's just how it goes .. people change, but I know I won't forget you ! To the ones who cared and who were there from the start ! To the love that leftand took a piece of my heart ! To the few who'd swear I'd never go anywhere ! .. That means .. college , here I come ! Highschool , I'll keep you with me , but for now .. so long my friend !

Try to smile ! Look in the mirror , and ask the one you see if he's ok with what he sees ! If you want this world to be a better place .. start with you ! Don't forget , life .. is made of heartbeatings , be careful , don't stop them to soon !

Just some picture perfect day to last a whole lifetime and it never ends cuz all we have to do is hit rewind .. forever young is in your mind leave a mark that can’t erase neither space nor time so when the director yells cut, I’ll be fine, I’m forever young …

XOXO , BJ

Michael , I want you back !

Ok , this made my cry a lot ! :(
Mike , I love you !

People leaving .. People staying . Which one is you ? Which one is me ?

Remember those moments when everything that's left for you is the smile and the support of the one person who's always there to count on .. well , keep remember that cause in the next second , the first thought is about the fact that people always leave , no matter what , no matter how or for if they're ever going to be back again . But thinking again , it's easier to keep believing that "this time" everything's gonna be diffrent .

After all .. we all wish to find that person on which we can always relay on when we have to deal with the hardest and the worst moments of our lives .. But when our lives got like this because of that person , it's the damn right moment to decide not to ever trust people .. or to learn how to forgive and move on . I guess it's up to you to chose . :) He/She is as human as you are , that means you can easly trade places . Don't judge them , try to forgive or just move on and let it be .. without ever going back again .

Get this once and for all .. people always leave but when somebody is leaving , in the next moment you'll have in front of you" the new" one , ready to stand out for you , no matter what . Don't blame yourself , this is life . But this doesn't mean you have to be the one that pulls out everyone from your own life . Trust people , even if sometimes hurts , that's a big smile wating for you in the next days .Take risks , live , love , laugh but just don't let it go , don't give up so easly .

Some people are like those birds when they're here wo make you're summer even greater , but when the fall comes , they run out from the rain and the cold . I guess you are the tree , waiting for the summer to come , cause you know for sure that those birds will be back next summer , in matter of fact , that's what makes you get through the winter . But try as hard as you can not to be the bird which's always leaving cause you may never know when the old tree my find another birds to sing for him or when he'll be cut and you'll have no place to go back .

Don't forget live it as if tomorrow isn't suppose to show up again !
Rise and shine , early birds , what have you decided ?
XOXO , BJ .


Picture via @http://trumpfass.deviantart.com/art/leaving-13343678

I'm 20 since today...I'm getting old and that SUCKS , my friend !

Now that I'm twenty I've got this weird feeling of losing the control of time . I wanna go back , I wanna be a child againbut I guess this one won't work on the reality part . It's like I'm not a girl anymore , I'm a grown up and I hate the fact that i have to let this behind cause I don't want to .. I mean I really , really don't want to !
Hey , you , the one working at the mechanical part at time's control , help me out here ! Can't you see I'm in need ? Press the button , do something .. anything !
Yeah , what's really all the "time" thing ? What's made of ? Some of us are measuring it in seconds , hours , days , weeks , months , years , decades , etc and the onthers .. in happy moments , tackings risks , memories , tears , childhood , dreams .. Now , tell me , who's the one that wins more ? The one who knows every second of time's structure , worring about passing to fast through it or the one that's not counting it buy living it ? Yeah .. i thought so too . So I guess I'm not supposed to worrie that much and to start living ? But what should I do with the memories .. those who are keep coming back everytime my mind is free or a bad thing happen ? It's hard to let go to my childhood .. to my best years of my life .. ! I'm gonna feel so empty without it . God , I feel timeless ! But you know what ? I'm gonna start wearing a smile more often , and whenever I'll smile I'll bring out the best memories and with them .. I'll learn to live in the present knowing that the future will be as great as the past was . It's like 3:17 am in the morning .. that's means I'm 20 year old and 3 hours .. and very sleepy . I'm gonna have to go to bed , this night I'll dream about something that someday soon will become reality, i hope . God , please don't forget about me , and my candle wish .

Nighy night kiddies !
xoxo , BJ

Just wondering ..

I always want more , something I don't have or something that's wrong . That's why life is more than decisions , is about feelings , about those moments when you feel so happy and accomplished that you can fly so high that the whole world becomes too small for you . We all love to smile , to live the happiest moments , to achieve the most beautiful moments and to have near us the people we love .. but there comethose moments when the sun forgets to shine and the sky falls on your head and it feels soooo damn heavy .. that's when we all look at the one we love and we realise that those happy moments were ment to be lived as if the next second everything will fall apart . Why do I always want something that's wrong for me and take those decisions that at the beginning feel so right but the next minute I know .. I feel so miserable . I guess life's also about learning , being close to your dearest friend and living the memory that brings us the most precious smile . Turning back the time is one of the most wanted wishes . What is it with time ? Why can't we enjoy the present without being followed by the past or pressured by the future . I guess we all have three ghosts . The first one is the one of happy times , always a plesure to have it close . The second one is the one of regrets , always ready to mess with the present . And the last one , but not the least is the one that brings us in our mind the persons we don't have anymore near us , that's the one that we want to keep real close .

...


You know those moments when you feel that life is throughing you away and that you feel powerless with every breath you take ? I think all of us have to pass at least once through it . But I never understood why . What's with this phrase that everyone talks about : "You have to make mistakes and to fall .. so you could actually gain what you really want . What if you can't raise up anymore and you keep falling and falling ? What if you won't learn anything and you'll keep doing mistakes until you get used to it and you don't want to fight it anymore or to gain it ? What if all that happens ? Life has always been about decisions , about feelings , reasons , memories , wishes but when it comes to falling apart .. life becomes a brigde from where you fall knowings the fact that you won't be able to swim or you forgot how to do it .. and the drowing part .. becomes the reality that you've been hiding from .


So .. that's why I'll try with every day going by .. to keep my faith in myself and to always remember that life is all about the present ...


xoxo , BJ .

The Guy in the Glass

by Dale Wimbrow, (c) 1934

When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,

And the world makes you King for a day,

Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,

And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,

Who judgement upon you must pass.

The feller whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,

For he's with you clear up to the end,

And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test

If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,

And think you're a wonderful guy,

But the man in the glass says you're only a bum

If you can't look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,

And get pats on the back as you pass,

But your final reward will be heartaches and tears

If you've cheated the guy in the glass.

In grateful memory of our father, the author, Dale Wimbrow 1895-1954

pictures via @ http://andyp89.deviantart.com/art/Glass-Chambers-97061972