I always want more , something I don't have or something that's wrong . That's why life is more than decisions , is about feelings , about those moments when you feel so happy and accomplished that you can fly so high that the whole world becomes too small for you . We all love to smile , to live the happiest moments , to achieve the most beautiful moments and to have near us the people we love .. but there comethose moments when the sun forgets to shine and the sky falls on your head and it feels soooo damn heavy .. that's when we all look at the one we love and we realise that those happy moments were ment to be lived as if the next second everything will fall apart . Why do I always want something that's wrong for me and take those decisions that at the beginning feel so right but the next minute I know .. I feel so miserable . I guess life's also about learning , being close to your dearest friend and living the memory that brings us the most precious smile . Turning back the time is one of the most wanted wishes . What is it with time ? Why can't we enjoy the present without being followed by the past or pressured by the future . I guess we all have three ghosts . The first one is the one of happy times , always a plesure to have it close . The second one is the one of regrets , always ready to mess with the present . And the last one , but not the least is the one that brings us in our mind the persons we don't have anymore near us , that's the one that we want to keep real close .
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You know those moments when you feel that life is throughing you away and that you feel powerless with every breath you take ? I think all of us have to pass at least once through it . But I never understood why . What's with this phrase that everyone talks about : "You have to make mistakes and to fall .. so you could actually gain what you really want . What if you can't raise up anymore and you keep falling and falling ? What if you won't learn anything and you'll keep doing mistakes until you get used to it and you don't want to fight it anymore or to gain it ? What if all that happens ? Life has always been about decisions , about feelings , reasons , memories , wishes but when it comes to falling apart .. life becomes a brigde from where you fall knowings the fact that you won't be able to swim or you forgot how to do it .. and the drowing part .. becomes the reality that you've been hiding from .
So .. that's why I'll try with every day going by .. to keep my faith in myself and to always remember that life is all about the present ...
xoxo , BJ .
